RPLog:The Nature of Fear
The time has come for Javin Mitali to become introduced to the Force. The Spire of Meditation provides an excellent place for this. As Javin comes in, Luke seems sober and focused. Though he spares a smile for greeting, his tone is otherwise structured and demanding. "Javin, welcome. I hope you are prepared, I have great expectations from you." No pressure, right? But Luke did that on purpose. He /wants/ for those emotions to be tangible, lingering at the surface of Mitali's mind, not locked away in the deep and dark places of the soul. "Come," he says, gesturing for Mitali to come to a mat at the center of an otherwise empty room. "Sit down, and find yourself in a place of good posture," he instructs. "Then, I want you to close your eyes and begin clearing your mind of all wandering thoughts." Luke watches Mitali closely. His mind pries into Mitali's thoughts, seeking and even expecting failure. Nobody masters the mind on day one… it is Luke's goal to pinpoint and expose these wandering thoughts, to help Javin's awareness of his own self. While Mitali does experience a little flare of nerves as Luke voices his hopes for him, more than that is a sense of flattery, and a genuine wish to succeed in his friend's - now his Master's - eyes. With an odd smile, he bows his head respectfully in response. "As prepared as one can be, I think. I'll do my best." Dutifully, Mitali comes forward and smoothly settles down onto the mat with a practiced sort of ease, sitting with his legs folded and his hands resting lightly on his knees. Meditation is something that he is familiar with, something that he's done for most of his life and relied on to get him through his short-but-brutal time in captivity. He draws in a slow, calming breath as he closes his eyes and tries to quiet his mind. It's a little more difficult than it normally is, but in light of his stay on Yaartsek, that's only to be expected. He tries not to dwell on thoughts of the other prisoners, or on his quiet, nagging worry for the personnel currently on Nak Shimor. Master Sergeant Pelx had filled him on what the 'big dance' Wrista had mentioned was, and while he is confident that everything will be fine, he worries for his friends. Luke begins a slow, gentle pacing around the room, staying quiet for a very long time. Eventually, he stops and looks toward Javin with a measured frown. "Your thoughts are very clear to me, Javin. You worry for your friends entering battle at Nak Shimor." He pauses momentarily, then his voice becomes a bit stronger, somewhat demanding. "Do you fear for them?" "For their safety," Mitali confirms in a quiet, almost lazy voice, keeping his eyes closed and his mind as clear as he can, though the unfamiliar tone from Luke does cause him a moment's pause. But he trusts Luke completely and he knows that it is done for a reason, accepts it, and reflects upon it with a very slight, unconscious tilt of his head. "Should I not worry?" he asks, turning his head to face where he thinks his Master has moved to, though he does not open his eyes. "Mmmm," Luke replies, his tone insightful. "Concern, the will to help, to save others. These are good things, Javin, but there is a very firm line between the will to help others… and fear." He walks somewhat closer, his quiet footsteps clicking through the large room. "Fear and worry are irrational emotions. They drive one to make brash decisions, borne without wisdom or insight. Fear is a desperate emotion; it leans one to anger, and anger makes one enraged." The tone of his voice suggests a deep danger with this line of thought. "It's not in my heart to argue semantics," explains Luke. "However, you must search your soul and decide whether this is fear… or a genuine concern. You must search for fear, and you must master it." Luke lifts a finger, even though Mitali cannot see it. "When you have mastered your fear, only then can you /truly/ clear your mind." "I understand. My worry for my friends -" Not to mention his elder sister, Naja, the Deck Boss aboard the /Independence/, "- does threaten to become frustration that I am not there to help. They really do lead into one another, don't they?" Mitali makes a little bit of a face and commits this lesson to memory, briefly biting his lower lip. He has always worried after his comrades on the front lines - now he will have to learn to do so more cautiously. The danger is clear to him now, even this early, and he does not wish to fall prey to it. Mitali is quiet for a few moments, thinking, before he slowly nods his head. "In this case? It is fear," he says honestly. "I am afraid to lose them. I know that they are in the best hands they possibly could be, but..." Now, he does open his eyes, looking up to his Master with a thoughtful frown. "How can I master my fear? You must have had to do the same, at one point - what did you do?" There are a series of thin benches, broken in four places, that surround the mat upon which Mitali was meditating. Luke takes a seat on one of these benches, his robes draping around his legs. "A Jedi does not entertain fear, Javin." His tones, while polite, are at the same time stronghanded in nature. "You may begin by pushing these fears from your mind; choosing to ignore these feelings. Turning a blind eye to your fears. This alone is difficult, and I do not advise it… a much stronger Jedi learns to understand his fears, to put them into perspective, and to act only upon wisdom, not irrationality." Luke pauses for a moment, giving Javin the space to digest his words. "Every day I am given new reasons to let fear into my life. There are moments where I give in. But I have come to recognize what fear is; to identify it quickly, and to give it no hold on my heart. This only comes with practice. This is why we Jedi meditate… it gives us the time and space to search our hearts, consider all /negative/ emotions. Then we wrestle with them, we deal with them… and we let wisdom rule our actions." The answer that Luke gives almost feels too simple and too obvious, but Mitali takes it as a good sign - it means that already, his head is in the right space, and now he simply needs to refine his habits. "So... think," he says simply, his mouth quirking up into a smile. The smile fades quickly, however, in light of the gravity of the subject, and he nods his head once. "Do not fear fear, but understand it. I'll spend some time meditating on this today - and on what happened while I was gone," he adds. Perhaps if he spends some time truly thinking the entire matter over, he can come to accept that what was, was - and more importantly, that what is, is. Then he can better put it behind him and allow for what will be to be. Luke nods his head slowly, a thin smile spreading across his face. "Then let this be your first exercise." A small light on his comlink begins to flash rapidly, a silent alert coming in from one of the Jedi Masters. He spares it a momentary glance, before looking back to Mitali. "I'll expect much from you, Mitali, the next time I see you." He rises to his feet gracefully, his expression strong and expectant. "May the Force guide your inner journey." The smile comes back to Mitali when he sees the one on Luke's own face and he bows his head respectfully. "Yessir. Thank you." When Luke rises, so does he - though it is clear that the student intends to stay and meditate, once his Master has departed. "May the Force guide you as well, Master Skywalker." His eyes glance briefly to the flashing light and his smile quirks up a touch impishly as he adds, "Stay safe." Another grin perks Luke’s mouth, this one a bit lopsided. “I suspect it’s Master Zandura, which means I am about to take the fire of the Force where angels fear to tread.” He gestures toward Javin pointedly. “Let this be another lesson in learning not to fear for the safety of your friends.” Notice how he does /not/ assure Javin that he will, indeed, stay safe, for he has no intention of staying safe. He has every intention of taking on danger without hesitation. Luke turns then and strides out, reaching for the comlink at his side. “This is Skywalker…” Nature of Fear, The